Why do we dance round the abyss?
The mind is a treacherous place. And will, the angel that ought to hold your hand, a poorly understood ally. Too often, that angel is assumed to be some sort of external force, an outside influence that will animate, bringing our desires to fruition.
Would that this were the case.
The truth is far more hard work. It’s called will for a reason. Recognising that, and acknowledging it as a part of yourself, under conscious control, must be the first step on any new road.